From The Onion: Pornography-Desensitized Populace Demands New Orifice To Look At.

Perhaps thinking it would be difficult to get a good identification on him, a guy robbed a convenience store in the nude - but ended up being caught when they matched his tan lines from the surveillance video.

The reason that the after sex thank-you card never caught on.

Its a pornstar name vs candle scent match-up. It was actually a little tougher than I thought it would be.

Is the world ready for comedy porn from Vivid? They've created a new label called Vivid Ha! and the first title to be released is called Stood Up with Savanna Sampson and Lanny Barbie.

Buy the DVD from Action or Empire

My favorite porn title in a few weeks: I Dream of Weenie.

Sheep Fucker apron and lots more sexy kitchen aprons at eBay.

One of the better sex gag gift ideas I've seen in a while - Weiner Kleener Soap.

I like the caution on the bottom of the packaging - its very, uh technical.

If Weiner Kleener Soap becomes stuck, soak area with COLD water.

Before you start all the summer parties, fill up your couch with penis cushions.

We could use some more oddly named candy in this country. Something to rival names like Plopp, Pricks and Spunk.

Great PSA ad about big balls.

Trust me, that sentence will make sense after you've seen the ad.

These aren't new, but I've never seen them before - Pornstar bears.

Sign your might have your that porn DVD turned up too loud - when your neighbor kicks in your door wielding a sword demanding to know where the woman your are beating up is.

There are stories floating around the net that Britney is thinking of just giving away the supposed sex tape to keep K-Fed from making any money off of it - did they originate with a fake news story?

Our server got drunk on Sunday and had a hangover for the past couple days. Its all better now.

The absolute, without-a-doubt, best enema story ever told.

Gotta love a hotel that makes a nice simple visual presentation of why their rooms are worth your money. And what better theme than to just come right out and put up a picture that shows they are good for fucking. [via Fark]

The picture above is actually from the hotel's 'Honeymoon Deluxe' room page. The photo below is just randomly appearing in their photo gallery. It makes me want to stay there.

Napster is using a stripper video to demonstrate why their subscription-based pricing structure is better than the iTunes buck-a-song pricing.

The cops in South Korea have a problem - figuring out whether its illegal to pimp an inflatable doll.

Korean punters have developed a taste for "doll experience rooms", paying 25,000 won per hour (a tad over 14 quid, by our reckoning) for use of bed, computer, and pneumatic hussy. The market for the latter apparently took off after the Special Law on Prostitution came into effect in 2004, banning the sale of real flesh for purposes of sexual gratification.

Chosun.com says that in the immediate aftermath of the prohibition, "certain motels were providing the dolls to customers to bridge the gap". So successful did this gap-plugging initiative prove that pretty soon dedicated sex doll establishments had begun to open for business

Elvis Presley tried injecting himself with the urine of pregnant women as part of a fad diet.